Life is fun - Things Happened in November

Greetings chaps and chappettes.

First things first. Hey, it's November, time to do some hiking. We hiked North Mountain which is all up in our grill, right next to where we live. It was beautiful weather and we got a taste for how big this city is. The pictures don't really do it justice.

Once we reached the top, we found a friend whom we named Peanut, because he likes...Cashews.

I went out with the missionaries to visit some chick they had recently met, and when we showed up to her apartment there was a guy without a shirt yelling and screaming and there were some women yelling and screaming back. One of them asked if we were Mormons and if we could pray for that bastard. Then she tried to hand one of the Elders a knife and said that he had threatened her with it. Well we somehow made it past this fiasco and as we were knocking on the door 3 or 4 cop cars converge on the scene. The missionaries just were talking and doing as missionaries do while the cops were trying to calm the guy down, then handcuff him, then start searching his stuff. Being a missionary was rarely boring. The girl they were there to talk to came to church that Sunday! And fast and testimony meeting was good!

The Phoenix temple dedication was this month and there's not much to say about that except we're excited to have a temple close by. Emily has been attending dance practices for the young women in our ward for the Phoenix temple dedication. The celebration was great, they told some of the history of Arizona and had dances celebrating Hispanic culture, the early settlers, and there was even a dance dedicated to the invention of air conditioning.

We went to the beach for Thanksgiving. Huntington Beach That is. Not only did we eat some good food but we went to LA and checked out the LA temple and then went to a piano concert by Hershey Felder. I knew nothing about what it was going to be like but I was pleasantly surprised. It was really good!

Hershey Felder likes to act the part of musicians and people from history such as Ludwig van Beethoven and George Gershwin.This night he acted the part of a Jewish immigrant named Irving Berlin who wrote some of Americas most icon songs, such as God Bless America and White Christmas. He talked about/acted out what was going on in his life and how he wrote each song, and then would of course play each song. It was really a mix between a play and a concert. We were quite impressed, it was very well done.

Then we ate ice cream and sat on some cows

Emily visited her old house and Elementary school. We found a tile that she had made for the schools 25th year anniversary, and they put the kids tiles in the walls.

Things we're looking forward to:

1) I've spending tons of time in the past 7 or 8 months learning about computer stuff, mostly programming. (more on that another time). I think I'm ready to get a sweet entry level position as a PHP developer. 

2) We're probably going to move once our lease at our apartment complex is up. We have no idea where we'll move, but we might move to another city, another state, or somewhere in Phoenix. Who knows! Life is fun. 

Books:

I'm reading a Steve Jobs biography. I love it. He's kind of crazy and I kind of see a lot of his quirks in me.

Emily is reading a book about poetry! It's very poetic. 

Things happened in October

This month we got to go on long walk with an adorable dog named Rain! How did we pull that one off you ask? Well, the answer partially lies with missionaries in our ward. You see, we go out with the Elders quite often. We do something with them at least once or twice a week, whether we're feeding them, going to appointments, or giving them rides. Someone that they're working with has a dog and can't get out very much so I volunteered our services.

MMMMM ROCKS

This is what you might call a "selfie"

This is what you might call a "desert"

This is what you might call a "female walking a dog"

We went to our friends house to watch General Conference and they had some gigantic playing cards and I thought they were the coolest thing ever.

Emily has to copy and paste information for 160 clients into 160 documents, which is a horribly tedious task and she asked me if there was something I could write to automate it. "Why yes" replied I. "I have just the thing". And so I spent a saturday afternoon writing a Python script that would create all her documents in a couple seconds. I felt really cool.

 Somehow I'm in the Elders Quorum presidency now.

Question marks.

I recieved word that the instructor wouldn't need to teach so that's what I told him. That was not accurate information however so I ended up teaching an improptu lesson!!!!!! It was awesome!!!!!

 We went and saw a Weezer show at the state fair. Weezer has a singer who is an introverted nerd and I like that. Weezer is that band who wrote that one album with those songs which ended up being my favorite album of all time. That's right, of all time. Everything that I look for in music is embodied perfectly on this album, but I'm going to *attempt* to write a review on it later so I'll spare you. This time.

I saw a really crappy looking selfie of my brother on Facebook the next day. It was him at the Weezer show. He was there and we had no idea!

Emily's mom, her new husband Frank, drove down from Utah to visit us. We went on a scenic drive through the Sonoran Desert. The Arizona  desert is very unique and surprisingly beautiful. There are many unique plants and interesting things to look at. I didn't realize how cool it was until I lived outside of Arizona for 7 years or so.

I never knew I was so good at photography

You know, random lake

Random people

Superstition mountains. There's a gold mine somewhere.

A week later, Emily flew up to Utah to visit her great-step-aunts-great-niece for birthday or something. Reports says that shopping ensued. Reports are also coming in that females actually enjoy spending hours upon hours shopping. Oh and they also watched A Walk to Remember. *gag*
Meanwhile, Dallin, AKA me, spent literally all weekend putting together the most difficult part of his very own web application. This is the first of many sinister ideas he has.


We had a sort-of-halloweenish-party where we...played board games!

We like to play board games and crap. Actually not crap, just the board games.

 Ok start over.

 We like to play board games.

 Most people have an interest or hobby that involves buying things. Maybe you're into Creepy Unicorn Masks, or Wearable Air Mattresses, or Remote Control Tarantula Spiders. Hey, it's ok.

 Sometimes people are amazed at the size of our board gaming collection which consists of 40 to 50 games. Board games are expensive, yet we've managed to only pay for 1 or 2 of those games with our own money.

I present here my favorite ways of making spending cash so you can finally get that Dog Poop Soap.

I've order these with my least favorite towards the top, in descending order to my most favorite. Most of these are from a period of 2 and half years. Bing is an exception, that's a fairly recent thing of a few months ago.

iPoll ($150) - I rarely use this very often anymore. I get kicked out of the majority of surveys I try to take, but I'll try every now and then.

Springboard America ($200) - I like these surveys because when they send me an e-mail with an invitation to do a survey, I'm usually able to take it. They send infrequent invitations, but when they do, I know that I will typically be able to complete it and earn some money.

 Mechanical Turk ($313.30) - This is an Amazon company, and you complete simple, mostly mindless tasks. For example, you can put some keywords in google and copy and past the first hit that comes ups and earn a few cents. The cents add up after a while. The more tasks you do, the better reputation you will have and the better tasks you will recieve.

Bing.com ($65) - Bing is Microsofts attempt to compete with Google's search engine. They offer rewards for using their search engine, with a certain number of points per search and a maximum allowable points per day. I get about 15 dollars in amazon gift cards every month using three separate Microsoft accounts. I also wrote a script that runs and searches for me just to make sure that I get all the points from all the accounts (I typically search a lot throughout the day, but I don't always remember to switch accounts). You don't need to script to do this, but it makes it a little easier.

iSay (at least $500) - This is my favorite way to earn money, and is also my biggest money maker. I think the 500 dollars is actually a low-ball number. I frequently get invitations to do surveys and I'm frequently able to actually complete them. These are just the typical surveys about products and TV shows and such. Every now and then they'll actually send a product out for me to test. One time they sent some sauce and a ten dollar bill to go buy some meat in order to make some crock pot meals. I guess I just like food.

 There you go, I have nothing else to share. Nothing. Please stop reading. Thanks!

Some September stuff

We went spent Labor Day weekend in the little town of Pinetop/Lakeside and it was bee-you-ti-ful. The trip had a very annoying beginning however. One thing I try to do is to avoid crowds. I hate crowds. I have a mental schedule in my mind of times when the regular places I go are not busy and that is when I like to go. I love going to the gym saturday afternoon because I know that everyone has the brilliant idea of going saturday morning, but for some reason saturday afternoon just won't cut it for most people. THAT's when I come. I also like going grocery shopping on a late tuesday evening because who's going to go shopping on a tuesday evening?

Anyway, we happened to leave around 5 o'clock on Friday to leave the really hot place for the 80 degree weather place. It just so happens that is prime time for nine to fivers. Holy crap, there were a lot of them with the exact same idea. The 3 hour drive took over 5 hours because for half the trip we were traveling in slow bumper-to-bumper traffic in the middle of nowhere. It was hell.

Note to self: never do that again.

The rest of the trip was amazing. We got to play some board games outside and go canoeing on Show Low Lake. When I was 11 or 12, me and some friends would ride our bikes down a trail through the forest to get to this lake. It's probably a mile from the house where I grew up. Later when I could drive, I spent a lot of time hanging out at this lake. Sometimes it would be something really random like a cereal party where we'd go buy some cereal and milk and go eat cereal at the lake. Sometimes we'd set off bottle rockets at midnight and have scary looking police officers come and frisk us and make us lay on the ground because they thought we had a gun. Sometimes I would bring some chick out as part of a date because going to a lake is way better than going to a lame movie.

I actually  have some pictures this time!!!!!!!11one one

Check it out, these ones are all centered too!!!!!!111 oneone

One morning, at 2 am, there was some really, really loud thunder. We didn't realize that it had been raining A LOT that morning until we left for work and on the radio we heard about people being stranded on the freeways with water coming over their hoods. "Huh" we thought. We decided to avoid the freeway.

It was called "The storm of the century". I even heard it was a once in a millennium type of event. It was the combination of heavy Monsoon rains and what was left over hurricane weather that decided it was going to visit us.

We were safe, our car was safe. Nothing bad happened to us. Some others weren't so fortunate.

Me and Emily had our first ever visit to Ikea. Can you believe that? THAT'S JUST CRAZY, LIKE OHMYGOSH

We just wanted to get some chairs so that we could expand our game night abilities and we got Emily a nice office chair to keep her butt comfortable. I already had one. My butt was already comfortable.

And we like to go swimming. Everyone has a swimming pool here.

Also, Palm trees aren't indigenous to Arizona. It's all a lie. But that's ok!

96% of the time it's sunny, but every now and then it looks like this.

Emily's Recent Reads

Be the Pack Leader: Use Cesar's Way to Transform Your Dog-- and Your Life;
Cesar Milan

            I really like Cesar’s approach to handling dogs. This book offers great advice on being a dog owner. He does assume you have seen his show and I feel like if you haven’t then his idea of “calm, assertive, energy” may be a little nebulous. However, I think this book is worth the read if you have a dog or thinking of getting one.

Masterpieces of Mystery and the Unknown
Agatha Christie

     I love Agatha Christie, but I think I like her novels are better than her short stories. This batch of short stories have been a fun read, but her characters are less developed (especially the women) when she doesn’t have as much space to let them grow. I still thoroughly enjoyed them, but if you’re going to read your first Agatha Christie novel go for one of her Hercule Poirot mysteries; they are excellent.

Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation
Lynne Truss

    Confession: I still haven’t finished this book. Every time I read a bit of it, she reminds me of how awful people are at punctuating correctly and then I start to hate people with bumper stickers like “UFO’s are real.” So I’m trying to read it in small pieces so I won’t turn into a complete stickler who’s awful to be around. (And honestly, I probably make mistakes that make someone with even more passion for punctuation scream silently.)

Moneyball : The Art of Winning an Unfair Game
Michael Lewis

            Michael Lewis is excellent at making a complex subject understandable and interesting. I know nothing about baseball, but I still found this book extremely interesting. I do think knowing what a ‘ball’ was would help the book be more meaningful.

Lost At Sea : The Jon Ronson Mysteries
Jon Ronson

            Fascinating short articles that slowly get more….ummmm…sickening as you work your way towards the end of the book. Once you hit the articles about old celebrities convicted of being pedophiles, I would stop. Other than that part; I loved his look at the random mysteries in the world, from UFO conventions to his experiences with a program meant to turn an Atheist into a Christian.

How to Win Friends and Influence People
Dale Carnegie

            I wish I had read this book when I was an awkward teenager. I’m still an awkward adult, but I feel like this book has given me some excellent tools to overcome my awkwardness. I’m constantly thinking “What question can I ask this person?” now rather than, “Oh please, let’s just not talk.” And I feel like that’s an improvement.

Freakin' Fabulous: How to Dress, Speak, Behave, Eat, Drink, Entertain, Decorate, and Generally Be Better than Everyone Else
Clinton Kelly

    You don’t need to seek this book out. I stumbled upon it and  since I loved What Not to Wear (Kelly as co-host) I thought this would be a fun read. It was that and honestly, less useful than part of me was hoping for. Watch the show, don’t read the book. J

The Man Who Made Vermeers: Unvarnishing The Legend Of Master Forger Han Van Meegeren 
Jonathan Lopez

            Intriguing history to a piece of history I knew nothing about.  Not only does Han Van Meegeren manage to forge Vermeers for years (throughout WWII) he also manages to die a hero claiming he forged them to trick the Nazi’s; despite his clear Nazi sympathies. I loved how well Lopez shows the true story of Han Van Meegeren in a tasteful, interesting way. It certainly taught me more about the art world during WWII and culture during that time as well.

Tower: An Epic History Of The Tower Of London
Nigel Jones

            Interesting read; learned a ton about the Tower of London and now would really like to visit it. The more you already know about the rulers of England throughout history the more interesting this book is going to be. Jones does do an excellent job of reminding you how this guy is related to this guy who did this with the Tower. So even if you know nothing else about them, you at least have a solid timeline and some interesting tidbits about who they had beheaded there. 

What happened in August

There was an Andrew Jackson Jihad show that I had been looking forward to for several months because they are one of my favorite bands. The day of the show I went online to find the venue and found that the tickets had sold out. That was very surprising at first, because it's very rare for these types of shows to sell out.

However, it does make sense because this is Andrew Jackson Jihad's hometown (city?), and they've been steadily gaining momentum as a band. When I first saw them, they were added to the bill at the last minute and they were the first band to play. It was just two guys, one with an acoustic guitar and the other with a stand up bass. 

The second time I saw them they were the headlining act. It was still a small show but there was probably twice as many people. The first half of the show consisted of acoustic instruments, but the second half was electric (in more than one way) and they brought out some other band members who came from the bands they were touring with. It was loud and crazy the kids loved it. 

This time around, they had a full band with full-time members. They had been increasing in popularity and were playing in their hometown. After I found out it was sold out, I was depressed for an hour and just laid on the couch but then I was ok after that. There will be other opportunities - after all, they live here.

On that note, I just purchased a ticket to see Hot Water Music which is my favorite band of all time. It's especially great because they stopped playing and touring as a band in 2004, and I figured there was a decent chance I would never get to see them. They started playing as a band again a couple years ago, but they played mostly small tours on the east side of the United States and so I thought I probably wouldn't see them for a long time if ever.

On the first Sunday we had a fifth Sunday lesson. They wanted to do the fifth Sunday lesson early because it was an information meeting about the upcoming dedication of the Phoenix Temple, which we are quite excited about. It will be more like a 15 minute drive as opposed to a 45+ minute drive to the Mesa temple. 

When we first moved into the ward, a middle aged couple told us they liked to play board games after I mentioned our weird hobby (obsession?) in a talk. We finally had them over and I showed them our game closet and I was acting like most of these games were standard games that they probably heard of. Turns out they like to play games, but they like to play older games! Yeah...........

We still had a lot of fun. We played some games like wits and wagers and they introduced us to a word game that was actually pretty fun. 

We watched a lot of Duck Dynasty. I'm not a TV/movie watcher, but I love this show. I know it's probably not an NPR approved show *says it in a hushed voice and British accent*, but just watch it before you pass judgement. 

We had a couple who is a little older than us to play games and they were a riot. We had a blast. It reminded me of the old days of playing games with Robert and Cassi (shoutout!).

I'm back into trading again, but I talk about that crap enough already. 

Emily got a weird rash on her mouth which then spread to her eye. She went to the doctor and turns out it was some kind of bacterial infection and luckily there was actually a cure for it. I say that because Emily's brother had a rash and nobody knew what in the world it was. We were concerned it might be the same thing. 

We spent Labor Day weekend in my beautiful hometown of Lakeside, Arizona. It's basically paradise his time of year. Me and Emily both have realized we're not big city type of people. I'm especially not fond of the big city. Someday we'll live in a medium sized town like Flagstaff or St. George. 

That was August. 

June 1st

Believe it or not, I actually write in my journal.

 It's always fun to look back at entries that are a year old (almost) to the day. Every time I do that, I see that, yes, I have made a lot of progress toward my goals. Working toward long term goals are like growing kids who don't realize that they've even grown until their parents measure the and put a mark on the wall an inch or two above the previous mark. That tends to put things in perspective.

 Don't worry, this isn't going to be full of emotional reminiscing that makes everyone else bored or maybe even a little embarrassed for the other person. This is just a casual update on our lives, so lets get to it.

 Q: Is it true that you lived apart for 6 months?

 A: It was more like 5 months, but sure, I'll probably just round it up to 6 from here on out.

 Q: You're crazy.

 A: Yes.

 Q: I'm just kidding. But really, you're married and you're not supposed to do things like that.

 A: I'll point out that we were all single at one point. Somehow we managed it then, did we not? I think maybe the reason why this idea makes others uncomfortable is because of the thought that two people who are in love might slowly forget that they're in love, or something like that. But honestly I think that's only part of it, that's the tip of the iceberg. The real reason it makes people uncomfortable is because it's not what married people are supposed to do. Why not? Well, because that's just the way it is.

 I don't recommend doing what we did, but out of all the options, it made the most sense logically. I only had a semester left of school, and Emily had already graduated and there were little job opportunities in Rexburg. We could have used up most of our savings and Emily could have sat around the apartment for 6 months, but we decided to take a path which was more difficult but which we felt was the right path.

 Q: Why don't you want to live in Utah? 

A: The air is polluted. It snows. The wards are much too big.

 Q: Did you just decide to head down to Arizona without knowing where you were going to live and no jobs?

 A: Yes and no. We didn't know where we were going to live but one of us had a job. We knew that we were not completely and totally prepared to pack everything up and move to a new area. Think about this though: if we always wait until there's no risk or uncertainty, we'll never do anything. As it turns out Emily's job had been given away to someone else, and what's-her-face was going to call us the day we were moved down to let us know. Nobody is perfect.

 I'm actually grateful that it worked out like that. My back was thrown up against the wall, and I applied to employers that I normally wouldn't have. I got an internship at a small company doing web programming and development, which is what I love to do. Emily also got a great job and is making more money than she was at her previous job, with plenty of room for higher opportunity. We spent two weeks living with my Brother and sister-in-law, and they were very hospitable. It was still one of the hardest two weeks of my life due to major uncertainty about what we were going to do, and it's just hard feeling like I'm dependent on someone else.

 We found an apartment we were happy with and we were able to move in the very next day.  We went from being homeless and jobless to having great jobs and an apartment in two weeks. We only have one car and it also turns out that we work very close to each other.

 I'm very careful about titling something a miracle, but this is one of those times where I can't deny that there was something more to this than coincidence. We're not shielded from going through difficult experiences because we are supposed to learn and grow in this life, and sometimes we're allowed to reach our breaking point. I was nearing some sort of breaking point at that moment before it all fell into place.

 Q: Are you happy about not being in school?

 A: I am incredibly happy about not being in school. I've actually had time to learn, and I spent most of my free time learning about some kind of technology. I'm in the process of creating a program which will create sentences and post to Facebook for me so I don't have to worry about getting on Facebook ever again. Emily is cracking open some of her old grammar textbooks so I can figure out how the algorithms needed to create coherent sentences. See the thing about school is that ironically I didn't have much time to learn. I couldn't create something that was interesting to me, I had to worry about what someone else wanted me to create. I just don't learn like that, and it made me not want to learn. And I would say I have an intense passion for learning.

 Q: Have you finally given up on trading? That sounds risky.

 A: Hell no. I'm just as fascinated and excited as ever about the market, and trading remains my dream job. I've only been trading for 2 years and there is no way that I will give up this early. I give myself another 6 years before I consider myself eligible to start thinking about quitting. I intend to spend my entire life pursuing my dreams, so no, I haven't given up. At this point I'm paper trading because I just don't have the time to give trading my full attention, but I'm still aware of what is going on in the market any given day. That's all the questions for today, I hope you've enjoyed yourself.

 BYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE








































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 GOODBYE!




































 SEE YOU LATERRRR!







































 poop

I listen to a lot of music. Instead of writing something down, which takes quite a bit of effort and I'm not sure it actually accomplishes anything, I decided to share a few songs that I've enjoyed recently. Music communicates much better than words, and possibly one of the reasons why I love music is that I am a terrible communicator.

The first number I want to share has to do with the experience of living in a different state as Emily for 5 months. It was a difficult experience, but we're not people to simply follow the path of least resistance, and you always become better a better person when you go through difficulties and I'm grateful that we did what we did. 

It still freaking sucked though.

Andrew Jackson Jihad - Distance:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLmkK6tEups
The first month after you left I drank and [ate food] till I slept. I went to work when I had to then came home.I fed the dog when I had to. I fed myself when I had to. I went out of town when I had to. And then came home. 

And I know this won't last forever but it feels like forever since we've been together, till we'll be together again. 

Second month after you left I still felt real depressed but I've got plenty of other things to spend my time on. I hate whiny songs like this but I can't afford a therapist.Sorry guys, here's a solo. 

And it's harder to be yourself than it is to be anybody else. I wish that I was someone closer to you.

And I know this won't last forever but it feels like forever since we've been together, till we'll be together again. 

 I love punk rock, and I hate convention. I HATE convention. I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE convention.

In this spirit, here is one of my favorite punk rock songs:\

The Descendents - Suburban Home 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aArkf4fnPko

I want to be stereotyped

I want to be classified

I want to be a clone

I want a suburban home

I want to be masochistic

I want to be a statistic

I want to be a clone

I want a suburban home

I don't want no hippie pad 

I want a house just like mom and dad

Well that was quick, wasn't it. Punk rock likes to keep it short and snappy.

The next number was always a fun song to listen to while I was stuck in school.

Lars Fredericksen and the Bastards - To Have and to Have Not 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qeAnOX-UCk

Up in the morning and out to school

Mother says there be no work next year

Qualifications once the Golden Rule are now just pieces of paper 

Just because you're better than me doesn't mean I'm lazy.

Just because you're going forwards doesn't mean I'm going backwards.

Well if you look the part well then you'll get the job 

in last year's trousers and your oldschool shoes

The truth is son it's a buyer's market they can afford to pick and choose 

Just because you're better than me doesn't mean I'm lazy

Just because I dress like this doesn't mean I'm a Communist. 

Well the factory's are closing and the army's full

I don't know what I'm going to do

But I've come to see

There's only room for a chosen few 

Just because you're better than me doesn't mean I'm lazy

Just because you're going forwards doesn't mean I'm going backwards

I always think about what the best way would be to help out homeless people. It's a difficult problem, and like any social problem, there's no easy answer.


        Andrew Jackson Jihad - Zombie by the Cranberries by Andrew Jackson Jihad 
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DLr9h5OqeQ

If I had a cigarette every time a perfect stranger asked me for a cigarette 

Then I'd have enough cigarettes to get me through the day.

And if I had some spare change every time a perfect stranger asked me for some spare change 

Then I'd have enough spare change to take care of these bills I have to pay. 

I know that times are tough but that does not mean that you can have my stuff. 

So how 'bout a ride? I can drive you to the shelter. 

We can eat dinner at the Andre house and you can even take a shower 

'cause I think you deserve much more than a smoke and 50 cents. 

You deserve to be self sufficient and buy your own cigarettes.

Oh, when the saints. Oh, when the saints go marching in. 

They will feed you so much pizza that you'll forget about the rut that you are in. 

Oh, when the saints. Oh, when the saints, oh when the saints come marching in. 

Well I'm sure they'll feel so much better with the illusion 

that they are helping out those sinners 

when all they really do is buy those so called sinners crappy dinners. 

Five dollar Hot and Ready pizzas and high fructose corn syrup punch. 

Leaving you diabetic and apathetic, wondering when they will bring you lunch to the park 

they keep you in, when the saints go marching in. 

So I wish I had a cigarette for every time a perfect stranger asked me for a cigarette 

but I wonder what a cigarette will really do to help that person out. 

I wish to God I had some spare change for every time a perfect stranger asked me for some spare change 

but there's not enough spare change in the world to make such an empty gesture count.

I've always loved this song. In punk rock it's common to be extremely honest about deep down feelings, and some of my favorite songs follow this pattern. Sometimes it's nice to know how other people are actually feeling and that their feelings often coincide with your own.

        Touche Amore - Home Away From Home 
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6rGV5p8A2c

I’m coming to terms that I’m not concerned

With planting my feet but moving onward

I’m growing older but I can't get over

The need of colder skin when I know that home is warmer 

It's just that I have this problem

Where I want to be everywhere I’m not

But I’m thankful for what I’ve got

A room in a house where my bed may stay

But the feel of another’s sheets help keep my demons away 

It’s become clear that what keeps me here

Is that sense of failure and other nightmares

I’ve become jaded and I can’t escape it

The thought of settling when I know it's what I hated 

It's just I have this problem

Where I want to be everywhere I’m not

It's just I know myself and I’ll sacrifice everything I’ve got 

Though I can’t afford to eat as much as I would like to be

And my bills won’t pay themselves so I’ll come up with another scheme

This place looks better from a passenger window

Or when stared at from up above

But when you’re chasing brightness

You'll lose concern with the damage done 

It's not my fault

I’ll try to call

No ties no roots I'm fine.

And I'll wrap it up with the final number. This is a song that captures fairly well how I feel about people who aren't following their dreams.

        Dillenger Four - Who Didn't Kill Bambi? 
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAt68BxoGxA

You know your eyes say it's dead inside of you

Just and empty shell with faded tattoos

And everything's just a memory

And every day is just a passing of time

You used to be a time bomb

Did you notice when the lights started to go out

Welcome it with a smile and your arms out

And now it's all so much easier

Bury yourself in banality and comfort

Never waking for a moment

We are alive

And just like the sun will kill the night

We bring the change to something new

Cause we know change threatens you

And there's nothing left of you to save

And each step forward that you take

Is just one closer to the grave

You let the years go by, an endless parade

As meaningless as the promises you've made

And you'll wonder where it all went

When the last of your effort is spent

And you're still left hollow

Will you watch all your life from the outside

Will you march to then end placid and paralyzed

Or will you take it in one shot without a chaser

And let go

Well, that was fun. Hopefully you think I'm crazy now.